Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Wanna Learn The Days Of The Week?

Because that is exactly what Rebecca Black attempts to teach you in this hilariously bad music video for the song, "Friday" that just went viral within the past few days. I watched the video on YouTube over the weekend and it had around 600,000 views and now it has well over 5 million views. Listening to the song you can tell that not a single syllable is actually a real voice but a computerized robot voice that has been run through layers of autotune. Now let's examine the lyrics. She discusses waking up, going downstairs, eating cereal and then rushing to the bus stop. Luckily she doesn't have to wait for the bus because her 13-year old friends are out illegally cruising and offer her a ride. Instead of just hopping in, Ms. Black observes that people are, "kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat" so she must make her mind up and decide which seat to take which means that if she wants the front seat the hoe in the front better move her ass to the back. Then starts the epic chorus which features Rebecca singing about, you guessed it, Friday. Unfortunately when Rebecca sings "Friday" it sounds more like "Fried Eggs." She basically just informs us that the weekend is all about partying and "fun, fun, fun, fun" even when you're 12. Later in the song she sings, "yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday" and follows it up with, "tomorrow is Saturday and then Sunday comes afterwards." She's so insightful and informative. Who needs calendars anymore when you have the talented, ingenious Rebecca Black?! Now for the truly terrifying part....I can't get the damn song out of my head! I woke up at 4 am with "Friiiieeeday, Friiiieeeday" running through my head over and over and keeping me awake. Now without further ado I present to you the masterpiece that is "Friday" by Rebecca Black.



-JK

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Track-by-Track Femme Fatale Review

Okay, I finally stopped shaking, crying and jizzing over how fabulous the album is long enough to write a review. Femme Fatale is definitely Britney's most musically adventurous album to date and features some great production from hit makers like Max Martin and Dr. Luke as well as Bloodshy. Femme Fatale is far superior to previous album, Circus and is on par with her 2007 masterpiece, Blackout. Now on to each individual track.

1. "Till The World Ends" - The song opens with the line, "This kitten got your tongue tied in knots I see"and it only gets better from there. Ke$ha co-wrote the track and her influence is heard throughout but Britney sounds much better singing it than Ke$ha would. The chorus of "Oh"s is extremely catchy and you will be singing along by the end of the song.

2. "Hold It Against Me" - Everyone has heard this one by now. It was a great comeback track for Britney, up-tempo, catchy and featuring a great dubstep inspired breakdown.

3. "Inside Out" - This track is definitely a future single contender. It features references to past hits and even includes the line, "hit me one more time." It's a mid-tempo track but the verses are delivered quickly by Brit creating an interesting juxtaposition. It's about a volatile relationship that Britney knows should end but the sex is just too good to lose.

4. "I Wanna Go" - This HAS to be the next single. It's an up-tempo number about masturbation and features a genius whistle section while Britney squeals, "Shame on me, to need release. Uncontrollably." The only way to describe this song is FUCKING EPIC. Go YouTube it. Like, right now.

5. "How I Roll" - This track stands out as the strangest song on the album, but in a good way. I have never heard anything like it and it suits Brit perfectly. It 's basically about drinking and partying and I'm pretty sure at one point she purrs, "You can be my fuck tonight." I <3 slutty Britney.

6. "(Drop Dead) Beautiful" - This is a good dance track. However it is kind of generic with cheesy lyrics and a horrendous rap from an up and coming California rapped named Sabi. The catchy chorus and Britney's great delivery save it however and it sounds great on a Friday night after a few shots.

7. "Seal It With A Kiss" - This is the sexiest song on the album for me. It's about a couple who pretend that they're not together while in public but steal away to the shadows for some raunchy fun when no one is looking. The chorus sounds like one long sighing orgasm and I love it.  

8. "Big Fat Bass" - This track was produced by and features Will.i.Am whom I despise so for me this is the low point of the album. I wish Brit had stayed far away from Will.i.Am. The song however is better than I expected and Will.i.Am's rap is mercifully brief. The chorus goes, "I can be your treble baby, you can be my bass" but unfortunately no one told Britney that treble is not pronounced "trouble."

9. "Trouble For Me" - I really love this track. Britney sounds surprisingly great and the breakdown right before the chorus is extremely catchy. It's about an extremely charming, attractive man that everyone wants but when he and Britney are together it's always a disaster but she just can't resist.

10. "Trip To Your Heart" - This is a mid-tempo track that literally sounds like a cosmic glitter explosion. I really don't know what else to say about it. I like it but I don't love it.

11. "Gasoline" - This song gets the album back on track with a great dance beat and catchy lyrics. I constantly find myself singing, "When the music goes up and the sun goes down, lightning strikes and I'm on the ground." It's classic, pop perfection Britney.

12. "Criminal" - This track is a perfect way to end the album. It kind of comes out of left-field and sounds relatively acoustic when compared with the rest of the album. It features a flute and guitar and details the story of an extremely douchey guy that Britney can't help but love. She addresses her mother singing, "Mama I'm in love with a criminal and this kind of love isn't rational, it's physical." The song features Britney's best vocals since the Oops...I Did It Again era and I was extremely excited to hear her actually singing as opposed to purring and moaning.

Overall the album is quite possibly Britney's best offering yet but I'll put-off that official ruling for a few months to see how the tracks hold up over time. I highly recommend that everyone head over to iTunes now to pre-order the album, or if you're a psycho super-fan like me you can head to her official site and order the deluxe fan edition which comes with a hardcover book filled with over 60 pages of photos for a reasonable $70. Or I suppose you could just find a link somewhere and download it for free but if you do, remember that you're essentially stealing from me since I'm currently a Music Industry major looking to work for a record label within the next 6-months. So please don't steal from me, or my girl Brit.

-JK

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Do It Yourself Doodler

I came across this website devoted to various doodles that all began with the same design. I thought they were really neat and creative so I figured I'd share.

The Original Doodle:
Now The Different Designs:
And The Obligatory Naked One:

Monday, March 7, 2011

Marble Hornets

I just came across this YouTube channel that features clips from a young film students unused footage. The student, Alex, began filming a movie and after becoming increasingly agitated and acting strange he suddenly halts production and refuses to talk to anyone involved about the project. His friend, unable to see the footage all go to waste, convinces Alex to let them have the footage and after viewing it posts the various strange clips they encountered. After giving the footage to his friend Alex demanded that the project never be mentioned again and promptly transfers school stopping contact with any of his friends. I've only watched a few of the clips and I'm already freaked the fuck out. If you like creepy stuff I highly recommend you check it out. I have not researched to verify if it is real or if it is a scripted project but regardless it's pretty good. Just start with the introduction and move on from there.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MarbleHornets#p/u/36/JVECb0bYq8w

-JK

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Saturday Night Live

Last night Miley Cyrus hosted Saturday Night Live and, like all episodes of SNL, it was hit and miss but I thought the opening monologue was exceptionally good. Miley pokes fun at herself and some other celebs who have gotten themselves into a bit of trouble. Her dress is heinous but other than that she looks good. A few other skits in the show further showcased Miley's knack for comedy. During a skit that featured Charlie Sheen hosting his own talk show, Duh! Winning!, Miley mocked Lindsay Lohan explaining to Charlie that she was "winning" because her new movie Herbie opened 68 months ago and the Los Angeles courthouse just gave her her own parking spot. Special shout out to the girl playing Christina Aguilera, the over singing was spot-on. Miley also played Justin Bieber in a new installment of the occasional "Miley Cyrus Show" sketch and her imitation of his ridiculous ghetto gestures was hilarious. There was also a total WTF sketch featuring a group of French people fighting and dancing like psychopaths which was quite amusing. Overall I was very impressed with her turn as host and look forward to future comedy projects from Miley. Here is the opening monologue, other sketches can be found on Hulu as well:  http://www.hulu.com/watch/221671/saturday-night-live-miley-cyrus-monologue

-JK

Thursday, March 3, 2011

New Britney Single!!


The final version of "Till The World Ends" has leaked and thankfully Ke$ha did not fuck it up and basically it's amazing!! I will be shaking my ass to this all night long.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Britney Megapost

Britney is currently gracing the cover of V magazine, which I have never heard of but regardless I'm always down for a new Brit photo shoot and interview. The pictures are gorgeous which makes me wonder how she can look so amazing when she puts in some effort and so hideous in candids. Here are a few of the pics from the shoot.                                                        
                                      
And here is a scan of the entire interview. It's brief but it's cute and it made me so pumped for the release of Femme Fatale on March 29th.  

It has also been announced that the 2nd single from Femme Fatale will be "Till The World Ends"which was penned by fellow chart-topper Ke$ha. Personally I'm not sure how I feel about this as Ke$ha tends to get on my nerves but I'll reserve my judgement for the finished product because only a 15-second snippet has leaked thus far. Here is the artwork for the single though. Loves it.